Wednesday, October 31, 2007

My Own Version

I went trick or treaing today. Shocking, I know. I dressed up as a red-headed fifteen year old! Creative, I know. *applause continues...finally I put it to an end*

I walked down my hallway and took a piece of candy. I didn't even say "trick-or-treat!" See, I'm just that unique and creative like that (I know).

Actually, I said "trick-or-treat" to my dad...but, he probably just laughed. That's why later, he came up to the door and I said, "Sorry...I only give candy to little kids."

I don't like Halloween so much...except that I get free candy without going trick-or-treating.

I have a memory of hiding in my room when I was little, because I was scared of the teenage boys that just wear their hoods and dress up as dead screaming guys or something. Turns out, I still kind of have this problem. I was outside trying to get stuff out of my car, and a group of boys were down the street on the other side and I gave up on the car door and hurried inside saying "Teenage boys scare me. teenage boys scare me."

At least, on Halloween they do. Although, they often give reason enough all the other times of the year to elicit the same feelings...

Excuse me while I go get some more candy...

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

They're Over

Whether or not they were absurd when they happened or just plain cute now that they're over, a few phases of my life:

American GirlThere's a time in your life when it's just fine to have your greatest excitement be going to the American Girl Store and your greatest (and most expensive) treat be an American Girl outfit.
Random American Girl facts (from my life):
  • I never got Kirsten's hair done at the American Girl Salon
  • Yes, I did love getting the magazines every time they came
Orlando Bloom
I may or may not have had this exact picture printed out.

The Legolas stage kind of fit into the Lord of the Rings stage. I don't mind the LOTR bit as much as I am so incredibly glad that Orlando Bloom is over. I never want to think he's cute, I never want to want to see a movie just because he's in it. It's like I'm scarred or something.

By the way, during the LOTR stage, everything reminded me of the movies. I remember sitting at the lunch table thinking of LOTR...

Playing doctor
This lasted basically as long as playing make-believe did. I think my friends got tired of it.

Well, so maybe there are only three so far, but I'll think of more to write...I just wanted to think of something interesting to write. =)

Monday, October 29, 2007


I want to just say in follow-up to my last post that...

I feel loved! I am loved! I know that you guys loves me. So don't despair and think that I am always lonely and always beating myself up. I deal with it, but it doesn't mean I think you guys hate me or anything....

I love you!!


It's not really plagiarism, just using someone else's writing to form an idea for mine...this part of the blog might be kind of boring for my sister Amy:

The article I want you to read...

I want to say that this is so huge and real in my life. Honestly, the part about interpreting my friends' motivations hit me harder than the part about God wanting to be with me (although I'm sure at other times that part would stand out and walk me in the face...or maybe more accurately hug my heart, but, oh well...).

Honestly, I pretty much expect that people don't want to be with me. And I do this with everyone. I do it with people that loved me the second they met me fifteen years ago and with people I have loved for a long time.

I know that I do this with everyone. I think "they don't really want to be with me, they're just being nice." (At least you know I think my friends are the nicest people EVER!) The exception I can think of in my life would probably be Amy and Rachel; yet I feel like even believing and trusting in my own heart that yes, they actually do want to hang out with me and yes, they actually do love me has taken years to cultivate.

Why? Why does it take me so long to trust? Why do I think these things about people that I know love me?

Actually, an interesting point of this is that I feel it a lot less with people that I feel like I meet and flash my "Jesus" smile at. The people that I say, "Hi, I'm Annie!" with the most cheerful voice I can do because I am consciously thinking that I am trying to show Jesus to them and love them with His love even if it's just for a second. I guess I should feel that way all the time with everyone I meet, but that's a different blog.

But do you know what I'm talking about?? When you take a step back and think about it, it's crazy! To think that the person standing next to you who you always hang out with doesn't really want to be with you. To think that when someone says "You are awesome! You are fire! and you look like Jesus. I love you!" they are really saying ... [ here, I have to say that what I almost wrote was "I love you just because Jesus does, not because you actually make me want to love you." and then I realized that that is massive...okay...revelation as I write my blog...]

So, I guess what it comes down to is my friendship and relationship with Jesus. Whether I realize it or not (as I just realized it), there is a subconscious idea that Jesus loves me because He has to. Which is the complete opposite of the truth that felt like wings that came and attached onto my heart and took me soaring a few months ago at church:

the quote: "My favorite thing about God is that He loves me...just because He wants to."
I know that Jesus is so ready to come and take my hand and show me his friendship and love me with His love. I know He would come and gently take my hand and change my heart. He loves me so steadily, and in such a real way...even when I don't believe that He does.
Part of this is that I want to tell my friends that this happens. I'm a bit reluctant to, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it. This is so real to me. There are many awesome times when I truly believe you when you say that you love me. But I have to admit that there are times when you smile at me or talk with me and I don't truly listen, and I don't truly believe you. I know that you love me. It is not your fault at all that I deal with this stuff, but, being real, I do.
It has a name. It all has a name. It's called Insignificance. And it's one of the things me and my friends have primarily been going through and praying through together. And that is amazing!
I guess we are always learning this, but right now I am learning to truly believe that Jesus loves me. Jesus loves me, guys. Not because of anything I do. I didn't earn it by being who I am, but He loves who I am. I have a hard time believing it sometimes, but He loves me then too. He says that whether I realize it or not, I was worth his life, I was worth His death on the cross. And He says that He'll help me realize it and it's okay that I don't understand it all right now.
And my hand feels held.

Sunday, October 28, 2007

"The Little Way"

I love this: {it made me cry a little :) }

"Sometimes, when I read spiritual treatises, in which perfection is shown with a thousand obstacles in the way and a host of illusions round about it, my poor little mind soon grows weary, I close the learned book, which leaves my head splitting and my heart parched, and I take the Holy Scriptures. Then all seems luminous, a single word opens up infinite horizons to my soul, perfection seems easy; I see that it is enough to realize one's nothingness, and give oneself wholly, like a child, into the arms of the good God. Leaving to great souls, great minds, the fine books I cannot understand, I rejoice to be little because 'only children, and those who are like them, will be admitted to the heavenly banquet'."

- Therese of Lisieux

Charlie Dodrill wrote a song called "Littleness" based on her ideas and writings. [just change the little player at the top to "Littleness?" and read the words in the book in the middle of the page... it's great]

Thursday, October 25, 2007

I hardly know what to do with it...

So, I read this post and said, "that's me!" I feel so loud sometimes. I don't even realize it at the's the minute after and then you're like, "hey - I was probably really loud just now." Like today in Aldi...anyways.

This blogger blames it on her ethnicity, but I'm not even half Puerto Rican! What's my excuse? I mean, the Irish can be pretty unabashedly opinionated at times, but aren't those times usually when they're drunk?? I am not drunk.

And I feel like it drives people crazy! Maybe it's just because it drives my family crazy sometimes. Like, I inherited this thing from my mom: talking loud on cell phones... Drives my sister bonkers -- well, not quite bonkers...

So, like most things, I think this has something behind it in my life, like feeling ashamed of myself and who I am; at the same time, sometimes I'm just really loud. Please forgive me. I feel bad when I do it, just so you know. I think I have this opinion of "lady-likeness" that I feel like I should live up to, because someday that beautiful gentleness and soft-spoken kindness filled with compassion and accompanied by some darting green eyes will make Prince Charming go head over heels.

But hey, he'll appreciate someone who can scream at a football game, right? (And I WILL go to and watch football games and, by gollee, I'm gonna like 'em!) And I hope he does, because that ladylike person who likes to show herself every once in a while, that's me about less than half the time. I actually like to do random fun crazy things and be in places where I can have fun and be loud and do crazy dances that look completely ridiculous to other people (because, my mad dancing skills, well...they're not quite mad yet).
Lets just say head over heels might be a LOT better than being driven bonkers.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007


I spend all day thinking of things to write on my blog; when the time actually comes, though, I can't remember them. It's like I need to keep a blog-journal or write all my ideas down so that I can write them down for REAL later. :)

Here's one thing I thought about writing today: I had a great day. And the Lord was just totally there and I just pretty much had a great day. So, I was standing in Amy's kitchen with her as we made tea [side note: we had no evaporated milk -- only skim milk to put in the tea...thankfully it still turned out alright] and I said, "I love Jesus."

and she said, "Me, too!"

and then I did a nervous giggle. Actually, not a nervous giggle, just a plain giggle.

And then I thought: "What, do I not take myself seriously that I love Jesus? Like, as if it's something to add a nervous giggle to whenever it's said?"

And then I thought, "'s not a nervous's like, a giddy giggle. And hey - I think it's pretty cute that I'm giddy about Jesus!" =)

Okay...this cat.
Right now it's laying on the back of my neck attacking my ponytail.
A few seconds ago, it backed up into the hallway then ran into the room, jumped onto the chair I have my feet on, and jumped over the screen of my computer, knocking it down flat (so the end result is the computer screen flat down with kitten laying on top of it).
This is getting out of hand.
Last night it decided that it needed to attack my bedspread in EVERY POSSIBLE PLACE. I had to kick her out of my room about 3 times. The pitiful thing is, that I keep letting her back in because when I put her, she walks around all alone in the dark hallway saying,
"MEW. MEW. MEW. MEW. why did you leave me all alone??? MEW. MEW. MEW."
Then, you feel guilty that you're tearing this poor kittens soul to pieces and let her in. I let her in with wishful thinking that she might just peacefully lay down next to me. But it isn't to be so. She walks across my neck as I lay there and she prances across my face. She jumps all over my bedspread and uses her claws every time she moves. Then she wants to attack the things on my bed-side table and knock my books over.
In order to get any sleep, I must put her out of the room and pretend that I'm asleep while I actually listen to her mournful cries until she gives up and goes downstairs. Then I have to listen to big booms downstairs and wonder if she's killing herself.
So then, I get up just to make sure she's okay. and the whole thing happens over again, because now she knows that I am AWAKE. upstairs. without her.
And it continues.

Monday, October 22, 2007

A Friday-type Monday!

"I like to be in America...
Okay by me in America...
Everything free in America...
For a small fee in America!"

It started, it happened, and it's over! This Monday feels so much like a Friday. It's just too much excitement for a Monday. We had gym (another crazy gym with the same game) and then I had rehearsal. Before rehearsal, Jenny did my eye make-up. We were going for the dramatic, stage-makeup effect; let me tell you that it took many coats of eye shadow. She just had to keep going and going. I loved it at the end! Amy and I tried to capture the look:

Performing is so much fun. It takes a lot, and when it's done you get to look back and say "Wow. All that work. Five minutes, and it's all over." But it's still so thrilling! I think that once I finish singing, though, there is just so much adrenaline going through my body that I shake for about two minutes.

We had a four o'clock call time, so we did our run-through (not such an encouraging run through) and then sat. for a very very very long time. We got some pizza, but, it wasn't the world's greatest pizza or anything.

Finally, we got to actually perform. Once I got on stage, I saw Amy and my Mom (I didn't expect my dad to be there, or else I might have found him too). I was so glad Amy came! She's spending the night at my house now. Thankfully, the one slightly scandalous song I sang didn't shock or appall any of them...I don't think it was too bad.

Part of what makes performing fun is the group that I do it with. We get to be friends and have our own jokes and ways of relating. I think it's special especially for me. I think it's special and good for me. My circles of friends have always been the same: church and school. With school being so small, and everyone that is around me being Christians, Merit is a change. It's interesting to hear about their schools that to me sound huge but to them are "small." I guess it's always interesting to gain new friends; it's no different at Merit, plus there's a great comradery that comes from the fact that we're all working on the same thing for the same time to perform together.
My mom went to Trader Joe's! She got me some CLIF bars. Yay. I like Trader Joe's.
I'm sure that I have other interesting things to say, but I'll have to say them some other time, because I suspect that my brain is beginning to shut down.

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Troublesome rice

And another random note: twice this weekend I have accidentally almost choked on something--I think it was rice both times. the first was during our exciting meal. I inhaled a grain of rice and thought for a split second: "Oh my goodness, I'm actually choking" and had a scared face... but thank the Lord for reflexes. :) And then again tonight! Oh dear...what is to become of me?

Random note 2: If you watch the video of Amy eating squid, know that I love her immediate reaction. It's classic: I'm glad I was taking a video.

Random note 3: It's late and I need to stop blogging.

Random note 4: I finally lost the cat. I mean, it's no longer attacking me. but that spot on my face still stings from her claws. I hope this doesn't continue.


Tomorrow is my performance! On a stage! Very exciting.

(stage version of stage makeup at least)

And this is my outfit...

The cat is now playing very rough. She just almost flung herself off of the couch, barely catching hers claws on the side. And then she dug them into my knees.

But she's so little and skinny!!! You pick her up and it's like she's hardly there!
And now she's laying down and going to sleep again. I'll probably take her up to my room, maybe she'll cuddle on my bed... Goodnight!

*And I take it back... climbing on my head, it feels like she's putting holes in my shirt, biting my ear, and sticking my back. My skull will soon be riddled with the shapes of cat claws, and my face will be likewise. Someone save me*

First let me say that I just felt very dehydrated. I had felt like that for a long while, but I hadn't wanted to get up to get some water. I learned today that that blacking out thing when one stands up can be chronic dehydration. Aha! And now that I have gotten a glass of water, I have to watch it as it sits on the floor because....

We have a kitten!! And she's snuggly. Well, at the moment she's jumpy because she just slept for the last few hours. Oh boy, she just jump and globbed onto my back. I'm beginning to see the playful side of her. AND, she just tried to attack my knee. Oh great.

But from what I hear, she doesn't like to be alone. My dad was just playing with her, and then he had to get up and do something else, and she started mewing. You know, that pitiful noise that isn't a meow, it's a mew??? Hmmmm....this is going to be an adventure.

She slept like this for about 2 neck started to feel stiff after sitting in one attitude for so long. =)

She still needs a name! Dad voted for Nummie (short for Numskull) or Ninnie (short for Nincompoop). My mom wanted me to supply a name out of a Jane Austen story, which resulted in my current vote for Ellie (short for Eleanor).

My couch is now officially an obstacle course.


A spontaneous day! I love doing random things with people and being spontaneous!

Today after church, Amy and I went with some VQ (youth group) people to play a game at Target. You split into teams and each team picks up three random things. Everyone meets together and switches carts and has to put back another team's items. Whoever finishes first wins. It was quite fun. :)

this was one of our random items:

Amy being a "Target model":
Checkin' out the fancy cameras. I have a dream of getting an awesome one someday. Nikon DL-something-something or something like that.

And then, on our way home, we passed the pile of pumpkins for sale! It started with: " Amy, take a picture with the pumpkin"

And then, it became "Let's buy a pumpkin!!!"


So, we had a pumpkin:

As you can tell from this picture, the wind was blowing today. When you walk the right direction and the wind blows your hair back, it wonderful. When you don't, it can be disconcercting. Oh well.

Isn't Amy GORGEOUS??? Oh my goodness...

Saturday, October 20, 2007


My day pretty much started at gym time. Which is an unusual thing for me to say. The rest of my day was pretty good too: I wore the shirt that I did just because I wanted to, my literature teacher shortened the test, I talked about a hypothetical situation, and I had pizza for lunch. But to have my day start at that is quite something. Gym is....well, let's just say..."It was hard for me....with [gym]." (aaaaaaaaannnnnnnnndddddd, if you haven't seen the movie, you don't get it. Even if you have seen the movie, you still might not get it, because, this is a really random place to put this quote). Gym is usually my least favorite thing of the day. One can be having the greatest day ever, and then, one (me) has tended to feel deflated at least for a second when one realizes that gym comes next. First of all, it involves changing out of the cute Friday outfit you picked out and getting sweaty. Secondly, it involves running. As much as I wish I did, I don't really, deep down, like to run. d

Let me here inform you of another part of the Eagles' Wings gym experience: the girls (for the most part -- Leah always does awesome and a few others aren't so bad) are HORRIBLE at basketball (and pretty much every other sport we play). And when I say HORRIBLE, I say it consciously. None of these insipid phrases: "We're not the best at it" or "it's just not our thing" or "the basketball is too red to play with." No -- we stink. We stink to high heaven and we stink some more! While it may not produce an exempliary excercise nor a very athletic experience, it does often create at least some level of hilarity (and a certain kind of competitiveness). Case and point.
I think we got at least half of our excercise from laughing so hard. We have basically no concept of what a foul is: this results in a pulling fight over the ball every two minutes. If you don't know what a pulling fight is, imagine a ball that is about 7 inches across, being held by the hands of five girls who are either pulling on it with all of their weight or just trying to hold on for dear life so that maybe their team can get the ball. Oh! and then add in girls around the outside poking and tickling those holding onto the ball to try and get them to let go.

In this game, I had the experience of being crawled over by someone who in the holding-on-for-dear-life scenario and was being pulled by someone who was in the desperate pull-with-everything-I've-got scenario. Plus, there was another time when I ended up sitting on the floor with both my hands and my chin on the ball (yes, that picture of me with two hands on a ball that I am holding underneath my chin is true), trying to keep it from going into enemy hands. I do believe we succeeded for at least a few seconds that time.

Oh, plus, if you didn't notice, we are playing basketball with a football. Actually, the correct term for the game is "Speedball". You're supposed to dribble by throwing the ball up and catching it as you move along, instead of bouncing it on the ground. This worked well for Amy, who basically glided along the floor and you didn't even realize that she had the ball. I, on the other hand, looked more like a giraffe bouncing a ball on its nose while wearing a neck brace.

I laughed really hard.

Amy, Noemi, Mr. Pan and I had already planned to do something fun tonight. We had thought of going to the beach and having a picnic dinner and bringing a guitar, but it was going to rain and it was cold so we had to think of a new plan. While waiting for Noemi to finish work (aftercare at school), the rest of us entertained ourselves by shooting rubber-bands at one another...

I really like this picture...they thought it was strange, but I think it is wonderfully candid.

If you look closely, you can see that in the following picture, the rubber-band is in motion. Yay for fast shutter speeds!

Once Noemi came, we took a self-portrait:

We spent some time trying to decide what to do. I didn't want to come straight home just to hang out here: I am usually somewhere in the background (or in my brain...) piping up about having some sort of random adventure. That or going downtown. =) Amy was just trying to give some random example of a random thing to do and suggested Egyptian food. So, we looked a place up.

Once we got there, though, we weren't so sure. The place was EMPTY. Empty, except for the four wait-staff staring at us through the windows wondering if we were going to come in. When we finally did walk through the door, the lady wanted know if we were there just to eat or for hookah...we restrained ourselves and opted for the eating answer. It still all felt kinda weird, though, so we decided to just next door to "Big Pho". [I'm told it's pronounced with a long "u" instead of "o"]. Pho is soup, I guess -- it was a Korean place. Ha! Random adventures and spontaneity -- be careful what you wish for or you might just end up with some squid in your mouth

investigating the strangeness

Mr. Pan promptly placed a piece of squid in Amy's bowl

He was fine...not traumatized at all

The soup we got had squid, shrimp, fish balls, crab (even though it may have been fake), and a mussel. I tried squid - you have to chew it for a long didn't really taste like much. I'm totally open to trying calamari now. I also tried the fake crab...I'm not sure whether I should be proud of it or not, since it was fake and all. Fish balls: they looked more like matzo balls or something -- I was kind of scared, even though Mr. Pan tried to assure me, "They're just fish balls. We eat them all the time." This was said in a very non-chalant voice, to which I responded: "You make it sound like it's normal. That's not normal for me" or something like that. It was probably the hardest thing there for me to eat. I had shrimp for the first time!!!! Amy and Mr. Pan have thought that it is kinda weird that I had never had shrimp. I like to say that I have had it unintentionally, such as accidentally in an egg roll, but I never actually wanted to have it. This time, though, I tried it (click).

Me eating squid:

It was Noemi's first time trying shrimp as well...she didn't like it:

I didn't like it so much either:

Here's Amy eating a weird squid.

So we finished off our weird-eating time (though it was SUPER fun) and went to my house and played Taboo, where I made everyone laugh with my assumption that the opposite of "single" is "married." Don't you agree???

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Test, anyone?

I really should be writing stuff for my test tomorrow and studying...

"Procrastination, mental retardation.
Procastination, the game I like to play..."
Totally legit song in my opinion, written by a friend of mine. Oh wait, didn't I promise not to sing that song to people who have not yet been enlightened to the brilliancy of the tune or something????
Sam and Dorth left! (that is a mournful exclamation point as opposed to an excited one). This could be seen, though, as a step towards my future trip to Hawaii. Hmmmm....I like that way of looking at it.
Before they left, I recorded the song that I just wrote on Sam's Macbook! It was exciting. He's gonna tweak it up a little and then e-mail to me; I can't wait! (Just to let you know, I used my inexperienced guitar-playing, so, don't expect anything too fantastical or anything. (I feel like I just made up that word, but I don't think I did--haven't you heard it before??)
Me. Monday. at the Biograph Theatre. In high heels and stage make-up.
I had a dress rehearsal tonight. It's quite exciting. Did you know that backstage is dark? And that when those bright lights are straight on you, you can't see the audience? Well, yeah, it's true.
The best part is: they feed us! Haha...not really. I mean, it's not really the best part, but they do feed us; it's a great thing to look forward to. We are singing "And all that Jazz" (from Chicago) and "America" (West Side Story). Very exciting. I get to run up some stairs and sing. Makes my heart go thump-thump.
Well, I guess it's already doing that.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

How to Sum it up?

Sometimes a blog becomes a hard thing. That would be when you want to write on your blog about whatever is going in your life. But when those things feel very internal and not really blog-material, that is when things get difficult.
So I'll write about a product of all situations of the time.
I am eternally grateful for my friends. Eternally grateful.. Friends are so strategic. The Lord knows exactly what we need...and I have to say that sometimes friends are what make me feel sane -- which sounds kind of drastic. Actually they make me feel not alone. That has happened a lot recently.
I'm very much a not-alone type of person. If I am feeling pretty much anything - from glee to sorrow to laughter - I pretty much have to share it with somebody. Either I know Jesus is right there with me smiling with me or holding me or He's the one that told the joke, or I'm with a friend sharing the things.
And, some days (like today) I think about how I need to be sure to be leaning on Jesus instead of on people. But then, I felt like today He whispered "this person is here to support you and you can lean on them. But I Am still your Strong Tower." And I might not be hearing Him perfectly, but I do think that the Lord definitely puts strategic people in our life at strategic places.
Basically, if you were to pray for me tonight, I would ask you to pray that I would lean on Jesus and know that He is here. Right here. And ready to be my strength and the one that gets things done in my life.
And if you're my friend, come give me a hug. =)
*Oh great...I have these moments where all I want -- all I want in the whole wide world -- is to be held. Thinking about friends make me have one of those least this moment it does*

Monday, October 15, 2007

Some Music

Click here and then switch the song at the top of the page to "Expression." You can open up the book in the middle of the screen to the words. I really like this song! (his other ones are good too, but this one especially catches me). For one, the music in the chorus is really catchy, but then, the words actually mean something! Yay! They mean something amazing!!! Yay for Charlie Dodrill. (He's a friend of one of my sisters.)

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Excuse Me??

What did I ever do to AP Calculus and Chemistry to make them hate me? That is my question.

Is Chemistry trying to punish me eternally for putting water and oil in the same salad dressing when they clearly want to separate?

Did Calculus decide that my limits were just so off that it would never allow me to get a limit problem right? (or at least those two strategic tricky ones on the test).

I will not be defeated! Oh yes, you heard me. I shall, now and forever, continue to make Italian dressing. Whether Oil and Water like it or not.

Quite the Week

I won't call it THE week...that might be my first week of college or the week before my wedding.

I wouldn't call it the GREAT week because, well, some of it was great and some of it wasn't.

I think it's more of a quite the week. Because it was a crazy week filled with many mixed things.

The beginning of the week was a continuation of Sam and Dorothy's visit: awesome.

Monday was fun: I got to leave school early and ended up going to the Art Institute with Dorothy and Becs. I watched the Office with Dorothy and that was funny.

Monday night and Tuesday morning, it felt like a bomb went off in my face...and when a bomb goes off in your face, well, it doesn't feel very good. I know that Jesus totally was shielding me and never left me, but honestly, the enemy totally tries to get each of us in those moments to that place where we feel alone. And I had a few of those. But not tons of them. Monday night was one of those weird times when you're heartbroken and so, so angry at the same time (at something that you had absolutely no control over). But thankfully, Jesus can handle that too. I think the whole thing brought out new feelings because it was the first time I had anything like it so close to me. But I also think that it brought out feelings that let me know more about how I am made. I know Jesus made me to show Him to other people. And I know that He gave me a heart to see the injured healed and the broken put back together. And I hope I get to be involved in Him doing that a lot in my life. That's what I want my life to look like. I can't sit back and see people hurt and do nothing. So I'm really glad that I already know that God wants to use me. :)

*Thank you, Jesus, that you are in control. And you are always good.*

Tuesday was intense...stuff was just intense in general at the school.

Wednesday was chapel and I led and it went great (for me at least :). I wasn't nearly as nervous as other times, and Sam, Dorothy, Arden, and my Dad were all there. Hearing Sam's voice from the back singing during worship was uber-encouraging. :) [I love my brother, can you tell?]

Thursday, Sam and Dorothy left, but my day was still pretty good. Noemi and Mr. Pan and Amy and I set up our little pow-wow for tonight (later)

Friday was a spaz-day for me but also a pretty good one...

And today. Today was a GREAT end to this week. First, I went to music school and basically sang, sang some more, sang some more, played a little piano, and then sang some more. (I get giddy when I sing; it's really good for me) And then, dinner came! We had a delightful dinner at Noemi's house and then got out to the guitars and the keyboard and just sang and sang. We tried all sorts of different stuff. We switched around instruments a bunch of times, sang worship songs, sang our own original songs. It was pretty awesome. Friends are so encouraging, you know that? I'm sure glad Jesus said we needed friends.

So...this post isn't the most eloquent or witty. But that's okay.

Saturday, October 13, 2007


Wednesday, October 10, 2007

in the Image

I promise that the story of Sunday is internet stopped working last night in the middle of doing my post.

I'm at school waiting. These past few days have been intense...really, really intense. Sam and Dorothy and Arden are here, but I still have to go to school. Plus, during this short half of a week, I've run into situations that are new to me. New and terrible. And they're all over the world, but they've never been in my face. And now, I have to see them in my life, in my friends' lives. And, I guess, I don't really know what to say...or to write.

Writing is therapeutic, I find. Even though I've never considered myself a "writer." I've actually thought, "I could never do that. I could never major in literature." Which, I couldn't. But writing is therapeutic all the same.

Actually what I wanted this post to be about is something I realized today. I am made in the image of God. I guess we "know" that about ourselves; I think what I actually realized is that I am made in the image of my wonderful Creator, and those ways that I am made in His image, those are visible, and tangible, and not just an idea floating around in the cosmos.

The one I've seen so far is how I love who people are. I love people. God made me a people-person, as it has often been described by my parents (thank the Lord they realize that He made me that way...). Today, my brother was preaching in chapel, and he mentioned how one of the hugest points (if not the most major) of our Christian lives is to know the character of God, to get to know who HE is.

And that's when I realized (or, maybe the Lord pointed out to me) that that's why I love people. And, I think that's delightful. That I love being with people, and knowing and loving who they are because that's the way the One who I love is. He is to be known; and He knows us. He knows our innermost parts intimately.

And it is right for me to want to know others, because I was made to want to know God. I was made to recognize character and adore the nature of HIM.

And desire for friendship: God is never alone, right? The three members of the Trinity are so unified, but now that I think about it, I have always thought of a certain sense of friendship between them.

That adds so much significance to one's life. To know that the ways God made me are intimately designed and infinitely valuable. I love Jesus because of who He is. And I would agree that those things that make up who He is are good. Here we find the answer to self-hatred. Those elements of Jesus' character are good. And He made us like His image.

We sin, we mess it up. It's harder to see the ways that we are made in God's image.

But then, Jesus saved us. He saved us. He redeemed our hearts. And not just our eternal lives...He redeemed who we are. Jesus reminds us that we are made in His image. And we are part of that creation that God said was good. Our identity turns into who Jesus is. We still mess up and need to repent and turn around, but Paul says: "It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me." (Galations 2:20)

So I am worth it. You are worth it. And it's true because Jesus said it is. And He proved it. And we can accept it.

Goodbye insignificance. You can go now.

Tuesday, October 09, 2007


Sorry this is so long delayed (Amy....)
Sunday was a blast. We went to church and had some lunch and then jetted off (easier said than done when one's brother and one's father are having an involved discussion about jihad and the Middle East, etc). Anyways, we finally were off and we had a brilliant time.
We just walked along Michigan Ave. basically. My brother has a secret parking area - right after you get off of Lake Shore Drive (on Michigan Ave.) turn left onto the little side street and look around there. We got a spot for free!!
We went into the Water Tower Place and didn't really look at anything (except for like two minutes in the Sharper Image store) and then went back out to enjoy walking in the nice weather (at Sam's request, and later Dorth and I were thankful).
Apple store:

x-ray mac photo booth

So...we just walked down Michigan Ave. and looked so cool...ummm...I mean, we looked...happy! That's it -- we looked happy.

now don't we look happy?

We were passing Coach and I decided "I've never been in Coach...I'd like to go in." We go through the revolving doors into the way chic hall of purses thinking "they're gonna take one look at us and think know we're fakers." Well, the first thing guy said was, well, it was probably hello. And then he said, "Ooh! I like your polka dots." I couldn't even hear what he said, so Sam had to repeat it to me, and then I was hilariousty, I mean, I thought it was hilarious! I totally just got complimented on my $5 Target purse from the Coach salesperson. So, we looked around and didn't buy anything (who would have guessed) and walked away.

Starbucks....there had to be a Starbucks somehwere in there. We were thirsty.

Then, we were impulsive (it's so much fun to be impulsive sometimes) and took the free shuttle to Navy Pier. This was fun, except for the fact that it's almost Halloween and so the Pier has a fright show going on, which includes actors stationed along the Pier dressed up like dead people trying to scare you. Yeah. There should be a sign at the beginning: WARNING! The Pier is inappropriate for anyone under 15 right now.

Tons of fun! (oh, and, the $3 at Starbucks for one drink + 3 waters was the only money we spent the WHOLE TIME...see? fun can be free!)

Sunday, October 07, 2007

A Weekend

Saturday was a day much planned for. At least, for our family, the planning was quite an achievement. A day of gallabanting around downtown was expected - Sam's idea was that it would be a great day of excercise that consisted of much walking and many water bottles. This warranted some not-so-subtle hints that walking all day wasn't dad and mom's idea of the most fun day in the world. Anyhoo, we set out.

Arden ready for the day in her Dad's way cool glasses.

Had some gyros for lunch...that was yummy (except my braces still hurt so I ate with my fingers) and then dropped Annie off at Merit. Wait a might say...I thought you had a great day of downtown planned...downtown is Annie's favorite might say. But yes, I had to go to Merit. It was tough at first, I wasn't the happiest about it. At least it was an excercise in saying "you know what, no matter what I'm doing the Lord is with me and is giving me joy."

Before I go on, let me mourn for a second. Miss Melba Wright, my wonderful, amazing, unmatchable choir director from last year...has moved away. I knew nothing of it until Saturday, and it seemed quite devastating because she seemed like the heart and soul of our singing. When I first heard, I despaired and said, "I'm definitely not doing Merit Singers if she's not the director"...but the new director is very lively and outgoing, so I tried out. I used this song (I really want this good) to audition...I hope I got in.

Anyways...when Sam and Dad came to pick me up I found out that nothing much had been done without me. They went to the Bean, but nothing really beyond that -- they went home.

That night, Sam and Dorth and I went out to Chinatown and had some dinner, looked around. I got a birthday present for my friend Hannah.

We didn't eat these fish.

The place we ate had this on one section of their menu:

They were things like fried intestine and sea cucumber. Um, yeah....we had General's chicken and some beef with snow peas.

And the Cubs lost. Sorry.

this is the first picture that came up when I typed "Cubs sad" in Google image.

Oh, and, I got a bubble tea. For some reason, they couldn't mix the strawberry and the coconut flavors, each of which they have separately. They could do pineapple coconut, though. Strange.

I wanted to do a cute picture with my bubble tea, but I couldn't open my eyes for any of the pictures. Here is the somewhat embarrassing but somewhat funny reel.

Next post: Sunday