Thursday, February 21, 2008

Please Say Something Fantastic.

I like the word fantastic. I had a fantastic day. That is a fantastic dress! Those fantastic contacts help me see so...fantastically.

Today, Mr. Pan, Abby, Amy, and myself drove down to the main Chicago library to get some books for school that could only be gotten there. When we walked out of the book section to go down the escalators, I stopped to ask the guard a question. The guard said that he had to search my bag. I was puzzled..."You do?" Didn't I see the sign, he said. Was it my first time there, he asked. Open it, he ordered, which was followed by "and you. and you." to Amy and Abby. Once he had sufficiently decided that I was not hiding one of the encyclopedias on the history of the world or whatnot in my little purse, he asked what my question was. Here I go..."Well, we heard a kinda crazy rumor. It might totally be wrong. But, ummmm, is there a lego floor here? Like, a whole floor of legos?" "Lego floor? No." and then he had to tell his friend Security Guard #2 about my question. This is not a museum, he said.

Off we went. Without seeing any legos. Not one single lego.

***
NOTE TO SELF...on how to eat hot peppers:
The correct procedure for eating a hot pepper is as follows:
  1. Take bite of pepper
  2. Relieve your burning mouth with apple juice, milk, water, any sort of non-carbonated beverage will do
  3. WASH YOUR HANDS.
  4. AND WASH THEM AGAIN.
  5. Return to your life as best you can. Yes, you are forever changed by this pepper encounter, but, life will still be good.

How would I know this, you might ask? Well, here's what I did tonight:

  1. Watch everyone else take a bite. Now I want to.
  2. Take a small bite
  3. Mouth burns...drink some apple juice
  4. It wasn't that bad. Burning wears off quickly
  5. Soon, I notice strange burning at the corners of my mouth. Oh dear, I must have had hot pepper juice on my fingers, and then I touched my mouth.
  6. Strange burning in my eye soon to follow...oh dear. Why didn't I wash my hands?
  7. Wash hands
  8. Rinse eye...it keeps stinging, but not for long
  9. hours later...while flossing teeth, finger touches tongue and tongue burns. My word, how many times do you have to wash your hands to get this stuff off?? It's like the plague of the hot peppers.

In other news...I like cake. 10-4, partner.

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