Tuesday, July 06, 2010

62.

It's in the hazy moment, between finishing a dream and fully opening my eyes to the morning sunshine.

Sometimes I think it's the Holy Spirit's favorite moment to speak. It's as if He has a minute all to Himself, before my mind is concerned with anything else. No schedules to fuel my brain, no mirrors to catch my eye. Only Him, and His welcome into a new day.

It's one of my favorite times to hear Him speak. Something about the way it reminds me that His eye is on me, His thoughts are towards me, without me doing anything to gain them. Psalm 139 in action, I suppose:
How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
If I would count them, they are more than the sand.
I awake, and I am still with you. [ESV]
Sometimes it's a song, sometimes it's just a line. Whatever it is He says, it sets the tone for the day, clues me in to what His theme for the hour is. This morning it wasn't there right away when I woke up, so I asked: "Jesus, what's the line for today?"

You are wanted.

Wanted. What a fantastic theme for today.

I pulled myself out of bed, made my way to the coffee pot, then settled into a chair in the bright dining room. My Bible fell easily open to the page my heart has been singing for the past days, Isaiah 61. I've been given a beautiful headdress instead of ashes, I'm made to be a planting of the Lord that He might display His beauty. Under the heading of Isaiah 62, a few familiar lines are underlined in pink:
but you shall be called My Delight Is in Her,
and your land Married; [ESV]
Wanted.

In a moment of brutal honesty -- I have a day in my mind when I assume I will know that I know that I am wanted. It involves a white dress, a handsome groom, you get the picture. There is a part of me that long has mistakenly believed that when a man desires me, I will know for sure that I am desirable. I will be a chosen Bride, a won heart, and I will know.

This morning I realized that the theme of that desire is correct, I am made to be married. My value is very clearly spoken to by the pursue of a Man, but it is not the earthly man I so easily think of. Neither is the jury still out. I need not wait to know. I can know today, because of those words pulled off the page by a pink highlighter.

I am already called Married. I am already spoken for. I have already been chased, I have already been won. You and I, we are worth something. We are wanted. The Heavenly Man, He has called us His own. He wants us. The cross proves it.

It is a sweet thing to be wanted and won.

2 comments:

Lacey said...

Sometimes, I too hear God in the morning. Sometimes I wake up & hear myself going oh yeah God that is a great idea, I really should do that & then I either wake myself all the way up and say God whats a great idea & He usually brings it back or sometimes I just let myself roll over and lose what He said. Or I wake up going ooooh I really like that song & again I can either wake myself up all the way & go what were those words God & He will bring them back or again I could let myself go back to sleep & miss them. I had been getting better at making myself come too and writing down what He said or I woke up saying to God. But your note encouraged me that others out there have this special time in the morning too. I woke up sometime this week & had a scripture & an understanding but I just was like I have no paper by my bed, I dont want to get up now, I will remember when I wake up again and lets just say the moment passed. Im so glad He keeps talking & will chat with me again. I should go put a pad of paper & a pen by my bed right now, & be expectant & ready!!!!! THE BEST THING OF ALL THOUGH IS WHEN I WAKE UP TO MYSELF PRAYING SOME DEEPHEARTED THING OR INTIMATE THING TO HIM!!!! It really just encourages me that I do love Him so much & that my heart is for Him, & it really socks one to condemnation!!!

Amy Lynn said...

this is such a beautiful picture annie. i needed that. cuz sometimes i feel like that too, where i'll feel wanted once i get married, but we don't have to wait for that day. Jesus wants us right now. =)